Letting Likes Define Me

I was lucky to pass the age of twelve without being glued to my phone. This is no judgement on those who are young and have phones and share a love for social media. I, myself, am obsessed with social media. Ultimitaley, it’s my own downfall.

Until the age of fourteen or fifteen, I barely used social media. Then, it all changed. For some unknown reason I became obsessed. I sought out validation through likes and notifications. At the age of nineteen, nearly twenty, that hasn’t changed.

Like any other young person, I love social media. There’s nothing wrong with liking social media at ALL. The reason I’ve come to hate social media, despite obsessively using it, is because of how much I let it define me. I get anxious changing my profile picture, and have to message people to make sure it’s okay and that they will support this ~massive~ change. If I get less than one hundred likes on my profile picture on Facebook I feel worthless. I wonder why I’m not as good as the girl getting hundreds of likes on her profile picture. I allow it to make me feel ugly.

Instagram is my worst nightmare and my absolute guilty pleasure. Anyone who follows me knows I post frequently, mostly photography. However, I do post selfies like everyone does now and then, and again I allow likes to define me. I keep comparing myself to the pretty girls who get hundreds to thousands of likes without trying. Why aren’t I as pretty as them? Why aren’t I as skinny as them? Why am I not as good as them?

For me, social media has more of a negative impact on my mental health more than anything. Of course, I’ve tried to delete it all. It’s the obvious thing to do, right? But I’m weak. I keep falling back into the trap of social media, and the cycle begins again.

I hope one day I’ll stop letting likes define me. One day I’ll stop comparing myself to others. One day this negative obsession of mine will be gone, and I truly hope I can be happier.